VictoriaAfterDark

· They wanted it. They got it. That”s hot. · Britney”s comeback: Part One, Part Two, and Part Three. · Hoff, hassled. · The Wrath of Pong: A trophy goes missing. The hunter becomes the hunted. · Young Hollywood shows up to see what kind of hot activist tail they can reel in at an Obama fundraising event. · Trader Vic”s flatlines, resuscitated as poolside girlie drink oasis. · Newsflash: Canadian basic cable sports networks have heard of Bruce Willis, decency standards! · SpectorWatch: Tales from the Glass Crypt. The tell-tale fingernail. · Larrylynn escapes from the Bahamas. · Jesse James gets rescrambled. · “Facts, figures, thoughts, wisdom.” Just a few of the things Russell Crowe imagines are inside producing entity Brian Grazer”s head! · Thomas Dekker is down with playing gay. It”s the system that wants him banging chicks on TV!

it”s friday, so what the hell… here”s another quick BvB to help start it off on the right foot, though i dont feel like i”ve been doing all that great at them of late… *shrugs philosphically*

** same rules as always… and dont be a complete dbag — make a choice.

p.s. picked up Guitar Hero II on the 360 for jayden, and g”damn if it isn”t totally badass… really like the Xplorer guitar, even if it”s not wireless (wuddup with that?)… really want to play the Halo theme song, too.

Paris Hilton going to jail for 45 days…

LOS ANGELES – A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in county jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress” famous high life.

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing. The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

well damn… came as a surprise to me, though i haven”t really been all that up on the news like i used to be — i didnt know a thing about it until just now… though i almost cant wait to see some sexy pictures of Paris in some jailbird lingerie… wonder if some big mama will make paris her bitch. *shudder*

In a shocking decision that has shaken our faith in celebrity slap-on-the-wrist justice and should quickly ignite a series of riots all the way from Hyde to Area (Molotov cocktails fashioned from bottles of top-shelf vodka will soon set ablaze the the streets of West Hollywood, so avoid the district effective immediately), TMZ reports that Paris Hilton has been ordered to serve 45 days in jail for violating her probation, and is to begin her sentence (no work release, no sassy electronic ankle bracelets, and, we assume, no conjugal visits allowing her to keep her love life in the tabloids) on June 5th. We”ll update if more information becomes available; we”ll be spending the rest of our afternoon monitoring our inbox for the first reports of widespread looting on Robertson by angry mobs in Kitson”s new line of FREE PARIS t-shirts.

[Photo: AP]

• Paris Ordered to Serve 45 Days [TMZ]
• Not Starting Out on the Right Foot: Hilton Late for Court [AP]

The deep imprint left upon the television landscape by seminal 1980s osteoporotic sitcom The Golden Girls is indisputable: Swap in some Cosmos for a cheesecake, you”re looking at a post-menopausal Sex and the City; add an angry lesbian and some Hot Topics, The View. Not surprisingly, the series carries with it a fanatical following, comprised mainly of gay men of a certain age, and no one else. Many of them showed up at Book Soup last night to hear Rue “Blanche” McClanahan read and sign from her new autobiography. A Defamer operative reports from the scene:

I was at Rue McClanahan”s book signing the other night (05/02) at Book Soup, an event which was truly gayer than a picnic basket. I thought I had a bizarre fixation on The Golden Girls until I was waiting in line next to a man who has vanity plates and an actual Jello mold from the show”s set. Right as McClanahan began to sign books and pose for pictures with fans, Betty White showed up, which you can imagine put all the fags and hags over the edge.

Two lucky fans got to pose with both Golden Girls before White ran off to buy four copies of McClanahan”s book, My First Five Husbands…And the Ones Who Got Away. What a thrill! Too bad I left before marveling at the woman who wanted McClanahan to pose with a nude painting of Bea Arthur.

For anyone wondering how that last chapter played out, our friends at The WOW Report have all the entertaining details, with photos of the naked Bea Arthur portrait in question. (Warning: Not safe for anyone.) As for Betty White”s surprise appearance, a single Golden Girl sighting has been known to rouse the deadened spirits of even the most jaded of Gays. Two, we imagine, would launch them into Beatles-on-Ed-Sullivan-levels of ear-piercing hysterics.

• Rue de St. James [WOW Report]

Judge Michael T. Sauer throws his hat in the ring for Time’s Man of the Year award. Via TMZ:

A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in L.A. County jail for violating her probation in a reckless driving case. Judge Michael T. Sauer handed down the harsh sentence, telling Paris she will not be allowed work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She must do the time!

An emotional Paris, with tears welling up in her eyes, told the judge moments before the decision “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Witnesses inside the courtroom say that Paris’ parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, were both visibly upset as the sentence was handed down. Kathy, we’re told, was especially distraught.

The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.

Paris will serve her sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF). She will begin her sentence on June 5. (Source)

You know the look of joy on a child’s face when they’re opening up presents on Christmas Day? Well I kinda look like that right now. Only instead of being a kid unwrapping a shiny new PS3, I’m Charlie Sheen and I just unwrapped nine hookers. Awesome.

From TMZ: 

A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in L.A. County jail for violating her probation in a reckless driving case. Judge Michael T. Sauer handed down the harsh sentence, telling Paris she will not be allowed work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. She must do the time!

An emotional Paris, with tears welling up in her eyes, told the judge moments before the decision “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Witnesses inside the courtroom say that Paris’ parents, Rick and Kathy Hilton, were both visibly upset as the sentence was handed down. Kathy, we’re told, was especially distraught.

The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.

Paris will serve her sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility (CRDF). She will begin her sentence on June 5.

This is unreal to me… the thought of Paris going to jail. 

I’m about to go get sloshed to celebrate Mexican independence from France, because I’m a multi-cultural enthusiast and because Cinco de Mayo is more of a “week-long binge-fest” than a “one-day excuse to get piss-drunk” for me, but first, this just in — Paris Hilton’s going to jail for driving on a suspended liscense!! Wheee! TMZ reports:

A judge has ordered Paris to jail for 45 days! She will begin her sentence on June 5.

Even if you aren’t a multicultural patriot like me, I think Paris Hilton in the pokey is cause enough to celebrate Mexican independence a day early. Enjoy your weekends and your booze, you snarky bastards! Oh, happy day!

+ Stacy Keibler looking hot playing volleyball [Drunken Stepfather] + Jessica Biel is Too Sexy to Be Taken Seriously [Egotastic!] + Colin Farrel’s pirate-sexiness killed a man [Cele|bitchy] + Kelly Clarkson’s new album dumped? [Allie is Wired]

White Stereotypes: Please enjoy the comedy, no matter your race.

With that, I bid adieu for a weekend full of loneliness and quiet weeping.

XOXOXO,

Nick